party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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