dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
