im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
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the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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