I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
