Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
