Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
