Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
