I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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