Welp...herpes.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
