a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
