I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
