u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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