On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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