Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
