Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
