mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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