Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
