Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Randomize
