I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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