yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
