You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize