It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
