Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
