If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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