u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
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