Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Green mimosas i think yes
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
