How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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