woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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