absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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