he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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