I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
