She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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