the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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