You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
