How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
