Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
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I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
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Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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