I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
