Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
