Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
