1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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