Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
