sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
