I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
