If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
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I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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