If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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