well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize