You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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