we have pet lesbian snakes
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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