Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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