i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
she told me i tasted like america
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize