yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Randomize
