im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
