hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
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