I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
