I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize