I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
