If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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