We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
