Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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