I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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