I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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