saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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