oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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