I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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