not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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